Throughout South America, you can order juice with your meal at most restaurants. The restaurants carry real juice, not fruit-flavored beverages like Sunny D or Tampico. For those of us who don’t like carbonation or caffeine, fresh juice is manna from heaven.

Unfortunately, getting water with no minerals or electrolytes is much more difficult. To make it simpler for you, I created a step-by-step guide for ordering water at restaurants.

1. Calmly ask the waiter or waitress for water.
2. When your friends object, explain to your friends that you aren’t poor, you just prefer water.
3. When the attendant asks if you meant mineral water, explain to the attendant that you don’t want mineral water (Yo quiero agua sin gas/Eu quero água sem gas).
4. Make sure to mention that you don’t need bottled water OR water from a bottle poured into a glass. Be firm on this step, it often goes awry.
5. Repeat step two.
6. Enjoy your water!